'Porters and Hurricanes

So let’s go back to Worse Day #2 for a minute. Remember that day, precious readers and listeners? The last day at my family home? How much it sucked?

Well it continued to suck.

I’m in my soon-to-be old driveway, screaming and pounding the dashboard. I pull out, take one last look at the house, and drive away.

My car is completely packed with clothes and belongings. There was no way to grab everything in one carload. I’ll have to come back a few times. I’m really looking forward to those visits!

I really only have one place to go: my buddy Karl’s house. He’s a single dude with a second bedroom. We’ve been friends for a long time and he was nice enough to let me stay there for a few months until I find my own place. I hope it’s only a few months.I’m very grateful to him. Mostly all of my friends are married with kids, so crashing on their couch or spare bedroom just seems like a big inconvenience. I could stay in hotel room, but who wants to do that? It would not be cheap either. I used to do property management and I would run into people who stayed in those ghetto, dingy hotel/motels with the weekly rates, and even they were not cheap! No thanks. I have some dignity. Somewhere. Unfortunately, I don’t feel very dignified at the moment.

So many thoughts run through my head as I head to Karl’s house. Some day I’ll have to explain my infidelities to my children- unless my ex tells them first. Their perfect Dad is not so perfect. Then there’s other questions. Where will I live? How will I afford everything? Will I find someone else someday? Will they be able to trust me? Will I be able to trust myself?

So many questions reeling through my brain. But most of all, I’m scared. Scared of what the future holds. I was not a good husband at all. But I was really invested in being a father and a family man. I poured a lot of time into my family. Yes I was doing a lot of wrong things secretly, but when I came home I was full on. Whatever fatherly duties I had to do, they were getting done. Shoveling snow, picking up kids, cutting the grass, cooking meals, cleaning the house and cars- you name it, I did it. I was not the father who worked all the time and never did any of those things.

There’s a new generation of fathers out here now. We have more working mothers in the world probably than ever before. Some are running their own companies, businesses, and legal practices- working long hours to do so. Dads have to share the load these days, unless you are rich enough to hire a maid and a nanny. Mothers and wives stayed home primarily in the last century. They did all the home and kid duties. And yes, there are still mothers who stay at home, but the number of them are decreasing and even those women are finding other ventures they can do from home.

My ex had a full time job. She came home exhausted many nights. I had a pretty flexible schedule so I’d cook or give the kids a bath. That’s the father of today. We are doing more now. It’s just a part of life. I know many stay at home dads. It’s the way of the world.

Some would argue that this ”New Fatherhood” emasculates men. Some would say, ” Oh, so men are doing house duties now? What’s next- wearing aprons and high heels?”

I just think that’s foolishness. Even if a mother does stay at home with the kids, a father should still chip in. Motherhood is hard, man. Shout out to all the single mothers of the world. Go ask them if they need a break sometimes. Ask them if they’d like to have someone wash the dishes or hang out with the kids sometimes while they go out with the girls. It’s just a new day, fellas. Help your wives out. It’s not the 1950’s anymore.

But I don’t get to help out my family anymore. I now don’t live with them anymore. And that’s all I can think about as I take this drive of shame.